Owen and the Rabid Fangirls
by Black Mage Leah
Summary: They're hyper, they're armed, they wear pink, and THEY'RE COMING!
1. Owen Meets The Girls

Owen and the Rabid Fangirls  
  
Rated PG-13  
  
By Lady Leah of Chaos  
  
Beta Read by Dragon's Dreams  
  
A/n: I'm only rating it PG-13 because of what I might put in later. Also, the beginning is kinda stupid but it gets better so keep reading.  
  
Disclaimer: There's a bunch of stuff here that I don't own, but that's not my problem.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Once upon a time, Owen was sitting on a jolly pony, being jolly. The pony's name was Jolly. Owen rode Jolly into the forest. He was having a jolly good time, when he suddenly heard a shriek.  
  
"That's not a jolly noise!" said Owen. He and Jolly went to see what it was. It was a box of chicken nuggets!  
  
"Wow! I love chicken nuggets! How jolly is that?" Owen said to Jolly. He dismounted and walked over to the box of chicken nuggets and started gobbling them down. By the time he realized chicken nuggets do not shriek, a rope tightened around his foot and he was hanging upside down in a tree.  
  
"THIS IS NOT JOLLY! Owen yelled.  
  
"We got him!" voices came from behind the tree. Five girls ran out of the wood behind him and cheered. All were wearing very short skirts and their hair was in long ponytails, except for the brunette who hated skirts. They formed a circle around him and continued cheering.  
  
"Let me down," Owen begged.  
  
"Will you run away?" asked a very tall blonde with many freckles.  
  
"YES!" Owen yelled.  
  
"Then the answer is no," the blonde said.  
  
"Alright, alright, I won't. Just let me down," Owen whimpered.  
  
"Coming down!" another blonde yelled. She pulled a rope and Owen fell down onto a bed of rose petals.  
  
"OUCH! That wasn't jolly!" Owen exclaimed, "There was a thorn in those petals!"  
  
"Oops." Another blonde grinned maliciously.  
  
"Who are you?" Owen glared back. The only brunette of the group grinned.  
  
"We, my dear Owen of Jesslaw, are your fan club." Owen stood up in a daze. He stumbled for a minute, and then looked at the girls.  
  
"I have a fan club?"  
  
"DUH!" The girls said in unison.  
  
"Wow! That's jolly!" Owen said excitedly.  
  
"I'm Leah, and I'm the president... I can boss everyone around!" a hyper blond said.  
  
"I'm Samantha, and I'm the vice-president... If I kill Leah I can boss everyone around!" a very tall blond said.  
  
Leah threw a tranquilizer dart at Samantha.  
  
"I'm Gretchen and I'm the secretary!"  
  
"I'm Becky and I'm the treasurer..."  
  
"I'm Rose. I'm the salesperson. I like to persuade people. I can be very persuasive..."  
  
"Umm..." Owen stuttered, "You're not rabid fan girls, are you? Joren got killed by his and..." They all smiled revealing very sharp teeth.  
  
"What did you expect?" Owen turned the color of old oatmeal.  
  
"By the Way, why did you say Joren's fan girls killed him? I thought he died during the ordeal," Becky said with a puzzled look.  
  
"He did," Owen said gravely, "But it wasn't the Chamber that killed him."  
  
"It wasn't?" the fan girls chorused.  
  
"Nope," Owen said, "It was his fan girls." All the fan girls gasped.  
  
"What did they do?" Gretchen whispered.  
  
"Half an hour before he left, they snuck in with bows and killed him," Owen said quietly.  
  
"He looked like he had lost all the hope of sunrise," Rose whispered.  
  
"You would too if your fans turned on you," Leah replied. Suddenly she started giggling uncontrollably. The other girls joined in and soon they were all cracking up.  
  
"What's so jolly and funny?" Owe asked in a confused manner.  
  
"It's that we were Joren's fan girls for a while," Leah said between laughs, "But when you came, we decided we liked you better."  
  
"We never quite forgave him for beating you when you were pages," Samantha explained, "We had to find some way to get back at him."  
  
"You mean... you killed Joren?" Owen asked pathetically.  
  
"Oh, that's right, we did!" Samantha said and laughed.  
  
"It was fun, wasn't it? With all the blood and the guts... ah the good days," Rose giggled. The others joined in.  
  
"Wait! We didn't kill him! We tranquilized him! They thought he was dead, so they buried him alive!" Leah said after a minute.  
  
"Do you think we used too strong a tranquilizer?" Rose pondered aloud.  
  
Owen ran.  
  
"After him, girls!" Leah yelled, pulling out a crossbow and a quiver of tranquilizer darts. All the girls cheered and pulled out bows and darts of their own. All let out a war cry and rushed down the road where Owen had ran.  
  
  
  
Running as fast as he could, Owen sped to the castle and burst into Lord Wyldon's office.  
  
"My Lord, my lord. Help me! HELP ME!" Owen screamed. Lord Wyldon looked up mildly from his paperwork.  
  
"Help you with what?" He inquired.  
  
"THEY'RE AFTER ME!"  
  
"Who's after you?"  
  
"THE RABID FAN GIRLS!" Owen yelled, and began running around in circles.  
  
"Rabid fan girls?" Wyldon repeated incredulously.  
  
"They're crazy! They trapped me with chicken nuggets, stuck me with thorns and they killed-"Owen stopped abruptly as Leah, Samantha, Becky, Gretchen, and Rose all burst into the room. Leah walked over to Owen and grabbed him. With a tranquilizer resting on his neck, she kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "A good squire never tells..."  
  
"What business have you with my squire?" Lord Wyldon demanded.  
  
"Oh, shut up, you old fart," Leah said impatiently.  
  
"That's Lord Wyldon to you. I demand proper respect!"  
  
"Samantha?" Leah said. Calmly, Samantha pulled out her crossbow, loaded a tranquilizer dart, and shot Lord Wyldon in the shoulder.  
  
"OH MY GOSH, YOU JUST KILLED MY MASTER!" Owen yelled.  
  
"Shut up kid. It's a tranquilizer. He'll be up in, oh, I'd say about five hours," Samantha said confidently.  
  
"Five hours?!" Owen exclaimed.  
  
"And he won't remember a thing," Leah said smugly, "We made the formula ourselves."  
  
"On second thought, we'd better give you some, too... to add to the over all effect of kidnapping you and knocking a lord out that could have us killed for this, but we shouldn't think about that because he won't even know we were even here... so I'll just shut up," Rose thought aloud. The last thing Owen remembered before he blacked out was a dart aiming straight at his chest.  
  



	2. Clubhouse Meeting

Chapter 2  
"Honestly, is he going to sleep forever?"  
  
"Gods, Samantha you should have used a smaller dart! These are made to knock out someone twice his size!"  
  
Voices. Girly voices with a hint of malice. The smell of roses. Owen groaned and sat up. It was all coming back to him now. As he sat up he noticed a box of chicken nuggets by his hands. They looked all right, so he started eating.  
  
"Leah, he's up!" Leah walked in to see Owen sitting on the floor eating his chicken nuggets. He offered one to Leah.  
  
"Nugget?"  
  
"Gods, no! It'll go straight to my butt!" Leah said in an anxious voice. As the members of the club filed in, Owen looked around.  
  
"Where am I?" he asked after a minute.  
  
"Our clubhouse, of course!" a girl Owen hadn't met said. He looked around, seeing pictures of himself and club members plastered all over the walls. "Where did you get these pictures?"  
  
"Oh, we have our sources," another girl said with a mischievous grin. Owen gulped. He didn't like the sound of that.  
  
"Anyway, Owen we'd like to introduce you to some of our club members," Rose said, "This is Theresa, our club random vegetarian... I'm a vegetarian too!"  
  
"Tofu nugget?" Theresa offered. Owen shuddered and shook his head in disgust.  
  
"Anyhoo, this is Christine. She's the treasurer's treasurer."  
  
"HI OWEN!" Christine yelled. She ran over, and kissed him on the cheek, and ran back to her chair.  
  
"This place is creepy," Owen said to himself.  
  
"Well, everyone, it's time to go over the club agenda!" Leah yelled over the noise. "Today is a very special meeting because today, we have our current object of affection with us!" All the girls cheered.  
  
"Who is that? Who is Owen anyway? I've only read about two-"Rose began. The cheering stopped abruptly as Becky shot Rose with a tranquilizer dart.  
  
"On with our plans," Leah said, "Since we've never had this before, we're going to let a member choose our activity." A hand rose. "Ok Anna, shoot!"  
  
"Well," Anna began, "That slut, Kel, is always overshadowing Owen. I think we should kidnap her." This was greeted with more cheers from all, but Gretchen, that is.  
  
"Kel is my role-model! We can't kidnap her!" Gretchen exclaimed, shocked. Samantha shot her with another tranquilizer dart.  
  
"Leah, there could be a problem with that," Anna said nervously. Theresa looked up at her and raised her bow. Anna gulped harshly. "They could catch us. We could get put in prison or get killed!"  
  
"Believe me, Anna, we have all that accounted for," Leah replied calmly. "But, to help with my plan we need to get one of our honorary members down here to help us."  
  
"Do I know her?" Owen asked.  
  
"Yeah," Samantha replied.  
  
"Who is it?" A creak was heard, and the door opened to reveal Daine coming into the clubhouse. "Did I miss anything? I forgot there was a meeting today." Daine explained.  
  
"That's ok, Daine. We just started!" Leah said with a smile. "Today, we have a special thing for you."  
  
"We decided that if you can validate our reason for, uh, transferring Kel from the palace to here, we will promote you from honorary member to full member!"  
  
"Ok, I'll do it!" Daine squeaked. "What do I have to do?"  
  
"So glad you asked," Samantha grinned.  
  
"You see, we're going to leave a note to anyone who comes in saying that Kel is in danger and that we have evacuated her to a safe place and will return her when the danger has passed," Leah explained.  
  
"It's your job to a.) make sure her pets don't stop us and b.) send vicious animals into her once we got her out," Samantha continued.  
  
"Got it," Daine muttered.  
  
"Good," Theresa said chewing on a tofu nugget. 


	3. The Kidnapping

Owen and the Rabid Fan Girls Chapter Three By Lady Leah of Chaos   
It was after dark. All the so-called "silly fan girls" crept into the palace, along with Owen, of course.   
"So where are we going?" Christine whispered.   
"To Kel's room, of course!" Leah replied in the same tone.   
"Anna, you got the note?" Becky whispered.   
"Yeah."   
"Is everyone here?" asked Leah in her "I'm the boss and you have to listen to me" voice.   
"Uh-huh."   
"Good." Leah and the others tiptoed into Kel's room, with Daine whispering to the animals that everything was going fine, nothing strange was going on.   
"Might I do the honors?" Samantha whispered, holding up her bow.   
"Of course," Leah replied, as Samantha tranquilized Kel.   
"But she was already asleep!" Anna said, laying her note on the table.   
"Had to make sure she didn't wake up," Christine answered.   
"Ladder's here!" called Gretchen from below the window, "Thank gods she's only on the second floor." Samantha climbed down and all but Leah followed.   
"Coming down!" Leah called as she pushed Kel out the window.   
"Got her!" Rose called from below.   
"Hurry up! I hear someone coming!" Becky yelled frantically. Leah began to move very quickly. Suddenly her hair ribbon caught on the window.   
"Shit!" Leah muttered. The door opened. Leah jumped, but not soon enough.   
"Who are you?" asked Numair Salamin. Leah applied a Shang grip, forcing his hand open and scaled down the wall. Only once she had gotten down did she realize Numair had her ribbon.   
Essence spells.   
This was not good...   
"Kel's gone!" Numair yelled as he rushed into the throne room.   
"What?!" Alanna yelled, shocked. This had never happened before.   
"I came in because I heard noises. She wasn't there, but there was a girl going out the window. I caught her," Numair stopped for a breath, "But she got away."   
"There was a note, too," he added. He laid it on the table. Everyone leaned in to read it.   
Too whom it may concern,   
Kel is in danger. We have taken her to a safe place. We will return her when the danger has passed.   
-ORF   
"Who in the name of the Black God is ORF?" Alanna wondered.   
"Does he even have a name?" King Jonathan asked.   
"Weren't you busy?" Alanna said.   
"Aren't we going to search for her?" Raoul asked.   
"Dur!" Alanna said, exasperated.   
"I can track her," Numair said abruptly. "I have a focus."   
"You do?" Alanna said, acting very interested.   
"She left her hair ribbon caught on the window when she escaped me. The girl's a damn fine jumper, though... Not everyone can force out of someone's grip out a second story window and lad lightly on her feet. "Everyone whistled, impressed.   
"She'll be hard to catch," Alanna said. She stood up. "Just leave it to me." A/n: Ooh... suspense! Plot development! I'm just hoping the evil plot bunnies don't attack! Oops! Here they come! Gotta run! 


	4. Truth Or Dare?

Owen and the Rabid Fan Girls By Lady Leah of Chaos   
  
Chapter Four   
  
Back at the club, the girls surveyed their work. As Leah had not mentioned her ribbon, no one thought that they could be found. With Kel tranquilized on the floor and Owen on his 'throne', everything seemed to be back to normal. Then Kel got up.   
  
"Where am I?" Kel said, dazed.   
  
"Our HQ," Theresa said coldly.   
  
"Did you kidnap me or something?" Kel was very confused.   
  
"No shit, Sherlock," Samantha sarcastically.   
  
"Why? I could have you killed if I want to," Kel said importantly.   
  
Christine rolled her eyes. "Tell us something we don't know."   
  
"But WHY?!?" Kel became very impatient.   
  
Leah sighed, "Well, if you must know. You've been overshadowing Owen and we don't like it."   
  
"OWEN?!?" Kel yelled frantically.   
  
"Yeah, me," Owen said, "This is my fan club."   
  
"Yeah, right..." Kel scoffed. Rose pulled out a poison dart and shot her. Kel shrieked in agony. Rose threw a dagger at her. Kel died tragically.   
  
"Shit," Leah muttered, "HEY THOM!" Lord Thom (the first, not the second) rushed in and brought Kel back to life.   
  
"Aren't you dead?" Christine asked.   
  
"Oh yeah! The Black God and I have an... er... appointment tonight," Thom said.   
  
"Eww..." The girls said. With that, Thom keeled over dead. The evil hamsters came in, yelled "Yummy!", and dragged Thom's body away.   
  
"Oh shit..." said Rose.   
  
"Uh... Truth or Dare, anyone?" Anna said after a moment.   
  
"Sure, I love that game!" Kel shouted.   
  
"Did you brainwash her or something?" Leah muttered to Rose.   
  
Rose ginned, "Maybe."   
  
Anna sat on the couch. "It was my idea, so I guess I'll go first," she sad, "Kel, truth or dare?"   
  
"Truth."   
  
"Ok. Do you feel inferior to Owen?" Theresa stuck her fingers into a pouch of eye bright.   
  
"Umm... no..." Kel stuttered.   
  
"Bullshit," Theresa shouted.   
  
"Fine, fine!" Kel sniffed, "I have always felt inferior to Owen! It's not fair that he can be cute and jolly and I can't!" She started to cry.   
  
"Kel, stop crying!" Gretchen yelled, "You have to ask someone!"   
  
"Oh, right!" Kel said, all happy again, "Leah, Truth or Dare?"   
  
"Dare..." Leah started. The door was opening.   
  
~*~   
  
Alanna opened t club house door. It was not what she expected. Whatever she expected, it was not seeing the person she was rescuing sitting on a couch, giggling and playing Truth or Dare. This was very Strange.   
  
"Oh, Leah!" Christine called. "Looks like we've got a visitor!" The apparent leader looked up. That's her... Alanna thought. She looked just like the image from Numair's spell. And there was no way she could escape now.   
  
Or is there? Leah thought with a rueful smile. The only Gift Leah had was reading minds. Not that anyone knew this, of course.   
  
Alanna looked in another place in the room. She saw a boy sitting in a comfy armchair. He looked familiar, but she couldn't tell who it was. Finally, it clicked.   
  
"Owen of Jesslaw?" Alanna whispered in disbelief.   
  
"That's right," Owen said, "You got a problem with that?" 


End file.
